Some One Cholking Someone Choking Funny Animation
Why didn't the toy manufacturer do it with his wife tonight?
Small parts are choking hazards.
My Grandmother died in my arms the other night...
...I wasn't even choking her that hard.
What do you do when a girl is choking?
You move back a little.
Last day for your taxes
A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy's testicles and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
What do you do if someone's choking?
Pull back a few inches
What do you do when a girl is choking?
Back up a few inches.
What's the difference between a kinder surprise and Michael jackson.
One is a choking hazard for children and the other is a chocolate covered candy
Just been reading how more people die from choking on sweets' packaging than the sweets themselves.
Gums don't kill people, wrappers do.
Hospital
A food reviewer for taken to hospital in a serious condition after choking on a piece of food.
On arriving at hospital his family enquired about his wellbeing.
"Nothing has changed" replied the doctor "he's still critical"
Taking that CPR class before Highschool...
Led me to believe that choking and strokes would have occurred more often that I thought.
I'm a cop and I got caught choking the chicken in public
I was revoked of my badge and sentenced to three years jail time. The chicken filed a civil rights suit and received 3 million in reparations
You can explore choking heimlich reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean choking gag dad jokes. There are also choking puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Tyson Chicken Factory Farm Caught On Hidden Camera Torturing And Neglecting Animals
I guess they were caught choking the chicken?
Why do the Minnesota vikings wear purple as a team color?
If you've been choking for 50 years, you'd be purple too!
Help! I have food stuck in my throat!
Haha, just choking!
What did the man say to the suffocating clown?
You've got to be choking
Retailers have pulled all the Darth Vader toys from their shelves...
Apparently they are a choking hazard.
I made just one mistake last night and my wife wont stop giving me the death stare.
Excessive choking.
A blonde's boyfriend dies after choking
She tried calling 911 but couldn't find the eleven.
A young woman starts choking on her seafood at a restaurant.
The man behind her says "Stand back! I'm a doctor!" and proceeds to use the Heimlich manoeuvre on her.
A whole small fish shoots out of her mouth and the woman finally gasps in a few breaths.
The doctor picks up the fish and says "What's a plaice like you doing in a girl like this?"
How are the New York Islanders like my ex wife?
Always choking regardless of who is playing.
How do you help a choking pig?
With the Ham-Lick maneuver of course
During a weekly game at the home for the aged, the bingo caller began choking and then collapsed.
He was rushed to emergency, and went immediately into surgery.
It appeared that 40 years of calling bingo games in smoky halls had finally caught-up with him.
The surgeon successfully removed a mass that was blocking his windpipe.
After waking from the surgery, the caller asked the surgeon if the mass was malignant.
The surgeon replied, "Fortunately, no. It was B9."
Conversation with my Dad.
Me: "The teacher was talking about strangling a student today!"
Dad:"She was probably just choking."
How do you help someone choking on nerve gas?
Give 'em the Heinrich Maneuver.
What did Cinderella say as she was approaching the ball?
*makes choking sounds*
In honour of canadian thanksgiving...
I will be tickling the turkey instead of choking the chicken all day today
Someone just called me materialistic.
I felt like choking them with my Vivienne Westwood belt.
Doc, I swallowed a chicken bone.
"Are you choking?"
"No I'm serious!"
The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96.
Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears.
What did the Princess do when she got to the ball?
*Makes choking noise*
It's no wonder falcons are an endangered species
They've got an extreme choking problem.
Why are people offended by Darth Vader's Choke holds?
He is only choking around.
How do you get somebody to stop choking you?
All you have to say is "Choke me daddy", and they'll instantly stop
My wife was in a coma. The doctor says to me, "There's one way to wake her up, but its a little unconventional. You go in there and you have oral sex with her"
I said "By God".
He says "I've seen it work"
So i go in there, I'm in there about five minutes and i come out.
I say, "Doc, shes choking"
Choking Hazard.
Jim: I once saw a man choke to death right in front of my very eyes.
Nancy: God that must have been awful, did you try to save him with the Heimlich manoeuvre?
Jim: I couldn't at the time, my hands were wrapped tightly around his throat.
A lady in my home town just died from choking on a sausage.
That's gotta be the wurst way to go.
After today, I'm not letting my kids play with penguins....
I didn't realize they were a choking hazard.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
*-Choking noises-*
Last week, I took a Dallas Cowboys jersey away from my 2-year-old nephew.
It was a choking hazard.
I gave my two-year old son a set of Legos, and now he's choking on Peter Dinklage.
There are no small parts, only small actors.
What do you call people with a penchant for choking.
Asphixionados
My wife was in a coma for 6 months and the doctor told me that although it's unconventional that I could try oral to wake her up so I decided to give it a try but after 5 minutes I gave up and the doctor asked what happened...
She just kept choking.
What would a Skyrim guard say if he saw you choking a little girl?
No loli gaggin'
What does a tsundere wookie mom gasp when she sees her baby choking on food?
Chew baka
My girlfriend hates giving blow jobs. She feels like she's choking and can't breathe.
I told her it's all in her head, but that made things worse.
What do you say when you see a Chelsea winger strangling someone?
Choking Hazard
What are you into
is such a broad question like, do I reply with tv series or choking?
I went out on a date with a Georgia/Falcons fan
She seemed really kinky when I talked with her. She's really into choking
Gav, an old friend of mine recently passed away by choking on a heartburn tablet
I still can't believe gaviscon
I was choking on some alphabet pasta when a lady asked if I needed help.
She took the words right out of my mouth.
In California, what do you do to someone choking at Disneyland?
You perform the Anaheimlich Maneuver
Thank you
If choking is an integral part of bondage sex
Darth Vader was one helluva kinky guy
I was putting on a Warriors jersey...
But my friend said "that's a choking hazard."
What did the guy say who didn't swollow his food correctly?
Nothing
haha, just choking.
How to instantly stop a baby from choking?
You thrust your hips back
"Help! A snake is choking me!"
"No I'm not!", said the boa contradictor.
My wife went into a coma
Doctor: "I'm afraid there's only one way to save her"
Husband: " I'm willing to try anything"
Doctor: " the only you can save her is by going in there and having oral sex. I know it doesn't make sense but I've seen it work, trust me. "
Husband: " my god! If there's a chance it could save her, I'll do it doctor"
5 minutes later
Husband: "doc i think there's a problem, she's choking!"
TIFU by surprise choking a random girl [F18] instead of my [M23] BDSM partner [F27]
Whoops, wrong sub.
How do you stop a Jew from Choking?
You let him out of the Gas Chamber.
What did the EMT say to the choking guy at Taco Bell?
Live más.
Something horrible happened today
My dog died. Then my alligator died... by choking on a dog... then my girlfriend died... how you ask? I already said it.
My cousin told me she choked on a mozzarella stick at a local restaurant, and I laughed so hard I cried.
The choking wasn't her biggest problem considering it was a Mexican restaurant...
What should you say when your girlfriend thinks your D is small.
Tell her small things are a choking hazard
How do you help a pig that's choking on something?
With the Hamlich manoeuvre.
What did the priest think while choking on a pancake?
Holy Crepe!
My brother thought it would be funny to pretend to swallow a bullet, but it got stuck in his windpipe.
He was just choking a round.
NSFW a young man is in his room
Discovering himself, pulling his pud, jacking off, choking his chook or whatever. His dad busts in unannounced and mortified yells SON DON'T DO THAT YOU'LL GO BLIND! To which the son replies .....um dad, I'm over here.
A man was enjoying his burger when someone broke the news to him that it was made out of 'Horse Meat'. Suddenly he went into a fit and started choking. Two hours upon rushing him to the hospital........
.......His condition is now known to be 'Stable'
Did you know that choking on a single cube of water is illegal in some places?
It's referred to as an obstruction of just ice.
I was once in a diner and a man was choking. The waitress called out Help, does anyone know CPR?! Yes! I cried. They're three letters in the alphabet! Everyone laughed
Well, except for one guy, I guess he didn't get the joke.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Help! is there a doctor on board?
DOCTOR: (rushing forward) Yes, I'm a doctor.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Oh thank god, this man is choking on an apple.
DOCTOR: (backing away) Oh no no no no no.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She started choking
Did you know that according to 911...
Choking on a handful of gummies does not constitute a "bear attack."
What does a Jewish person do if they see someone choking?
They use the L'chaimlich maneuver
What do you give a sheep that's choking?
Sheep. P. R.
Source: https://jokojokes.com/choking-jokes.html
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